What to give.......

It’s Monday morning and I’m sitting in front of my computer reading my email while drinking a second cup of tea.  I just read Cheryl Richardson’s blog about a kind jester that was made in honor of her Dad that passed away a few weeks ago.

As I just lost my Mother a few weeks ago, she is often on my mind as well.  Over the weekend I had been trying to figure out what I could get for my Mom’s wonderful caregiver that would have meaning and show her how much I appreciated what she did for our family.  Mom loved Christmas and loved to make cookies, cinnamon rolls, candies and treats for neighbors and friends this time of year.  That gave me the idea of doing the same for her caregiver.   Wondering if that would be appropriate, I remembered the late days I would be at the assisted living home and watching as the girls put the other residents to bed and complete their daily chores.  They would then go into the living area to relax for a while with snacks and visit among themselves.  Knowing they didn’t have time to make special holiday treats for themselves, I hope this small jester will bring her joy and remind her of Mom.

I’d like to pass this thought on to you.  If you feel like doing something special for someone in honor of a parent or loved one, I know it would mean a lot to them.

Now I have to get busy and start baking. 

The Dash

This beautiful poem is so fitting of my Mother.  When asked if she was happy with how she spent her dash, she said "I did what I wanted to do.  I took care of my family and tried to be a good person.  That's it."

Yes, that was it.  And that was enough. 

May Garland Passwater rest in peace for all time. 

June 18, 1918---October 7, 2016 

Quote taken from eulogy written by Rhonda McCormack 



Trust

While cleaning out our Mothers house this last year, my daughter pointed out this newspaper clipping that had been on our Mom's refrigerator for close to 30 years.  It's discolored and wrinkled but still in very good shape.  We wondered if she read it each day and reflected on the meaning of the saying or had she just gotten so use to it being there she didn't really notice it anymore. 

Apparently at one time it meant enough to her to cut it out of the paper and post it on the refrigerator.  Right?  She's always been a worrier, just like the rest of the women in our family.  We worry about things that haven't even happened yet. But trust.  I've never doubted her trust.  So, I'm guessing this was something she wanted to work on and by putting this large reminder where she could see it several times a day helped her reach her goal.  

Posting sayings or goals around our home and work place is a very common practice now.  However, 30 years ago I really don't recall it being that normal. So, for her to realize that it would help her, says a lot about her forward thinking and recognizing that she needed some guidance in this area of her life.  

For some reason neither my daughter nor myself could toss this in the trash.  I am now the holder of the saying and I will post it on my bulletin board to help me in this area of my life as well.

        

Thanks Mom!

HAPPY BOOK LOVERS DAY!



Disrupt aging

If someone had told me eighteen months ago that in one years' time I would feel and look so much older than I really am, I would have told them they were crazy.


But it can happen.


When you spend day after day and month after  month in hospitals, physical therapy facilities and then finally an assisted living group home, you start to feel, think and act like your loved one.  Your thoughts are on treatment, medication, diets, unclear thoughts and what they could possibly mean.  You watch every sign like it's going to give you a clue of what is going on inside the body and mind.  No one can answer the dozens of questions that are running through your own mind. The standard answer is "she's doing well for her age".


Soon your energy is gone just like hers.  Your legs and knees hurt just like hers.  You don't want to eat just like her.  Your thoughts get confused, not knowing if your decisions are the right ones.  She feels the same way. Soon she won't get out of bed or even move her body while in bed. There are some days you feel the same way. Your skin gets dry, you sleep more, you take more Tylenol for your knees, you lose track of your friends because you are taking care of two households now.  You don't have the energy for the many activities you loved to do before. When you talk about, see and interact with illness every day some of it is going to rub off on you.


Now, that I'm fully aware of how this has affected me, I'm taking a stand. I'm going to disrupt this advanced aging and get back some of my lost youth. I'm going to start by stop questioning everything and give more room to breathing.


Side Note: Care Givers are special people. Without them our loved ones would be lost. My loved one has an angel for a care giver and I don't know what we would do without her. Thank you E.